Whiskey Jack and Vodka Jill
Well, I made some crack about the hill
To Whiskey Jack and Vodka Jill
See those pictures on the wall?
Those two people came in fall
And stayed till New Years Eve
And they slept there on their sleeves
Jack was straight up and tipped us nice
Drank his whiskey with no ice
Just a barfly throwin' darts
With a holocaust in his heart
Off the wagon for 20 years
That day she crash-landed here
She never got back on After she met Jack McDowell
They’d move to a corner booth
And sit there while I would sweep
And move 'em finally towards the door
And often as not they’d hit the floor
They never said a word
But if they did it was too slurred
When Dick Clark dropped the ball
We found the empty bottle of Seconal
And Jack and Vodka Jill
Arms entwined and very still
This one’s Jack and that one’s Jill
This one’s Jack and that one’s Jill