They say cats got nine lives but my cat scan revealed that I'm a one match man
Concealed on the path of my hand, life line its fight time when I write the rhymes
That brings shock to little kids like when the old man strikes the moms (SE)
And I'm the old man call me king, radio flyer
Driving a rusty truck with worn out radial tires
I'm a white trash prick who likes to get his ass licked
Oh you don't like me? Stick to Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck
I'm a pimp; so many girls gotta push em away (SE)
But it gets a little hard when their bush is in my face
But I like it clean shaven with tits like cantaloupe
So I got plans to elope with the next female rocking a camel toe
Pussy showing right through those spandex
Plus we just got married so can you hit my man next
And you my cousin but I insist its non incest (SE)
That's only for immediate family yo plus we just met
So let's fuck and afterwards snuggle with the covers
And hopefully E can forget that both of our uncles are brothers
And I've never heard of rubbers so I'm just gonna hit it raw
I'm your stereotypical trailer, white male at 34
[Chorus]
They call me white trash the kind that only pays with cash
Eat corn beef and hash and never wipes my ass
I got a beer in one hand and a steering wheel in the right
Blasting country music, drunk driving at night
Seems to be about a year since my last haircut
And only date women that are chain smoking overweight sluts
Goatees, cut off tees, tight jeans with tucked in boots
I get abusive and that's the truth
It seems like every job I've had entails dirt under the fingernails
I make 1150 an hour so fuck a singers sales
And I joined a union and they taking care of me
So when I work 40 plus a week time and a half is guaranteed
Plus it keeps me out of the house I stopped beating up the kids
But it will probably only last until I move back in
Make sure to have gifts in hand when I reach the front door
Apologize for the bruises and calling her a cunt whore
So please take me back yo I even stopped drinking
But my left eye was wink winking and my right eye was blink blinking (SE)
She's thinking I'm a changed man and all of the angers lost
But I never tell blatant lies without having my fingers crossed
So she let me back in give me bout a week or so
But this time its no bruises I delivering a lethal blow
Across the head I'm forced to fled of course she's dead I'm not surprised
Turned my seeds to foster kids cause to me they're not alive
[Chorus]
Now I'm so lonely and it's the bars I seek
I got out on bail, manslaughter laws are weak
And I probably get off on some sort of technicality
Suspension from work is just vacation without the salary
Enjoying sleeping in walking in robes and slippers
It's like my wife's asleep and the kids are at the sitters
My friends bring over strippers they acting the same
They call it the bachelor pad and that's what's insane
I know I got a slight problem but there's no need to address it
Cause I'll be address less when the judge figures out a proper sentence
You can snail mail me in jail e-mail some sort of trash joke
How straight men go in and come out queer as folk
So yeah I'm doing time remorse will be shown in court
But I'm really upset that I took it too far and got court
So now I'm in the system and it aint working for shit
Cause when I get out I'mma still hit the bars and get lit