Hey kid, everyone's waiting on you, kid.
Everyone's wondering what you'll do, kid.
It's true, kid.
Me too, kid.
Hey kid, we're so excited just to know you'll soon be here.
Say kid, we're both delighted though it may not seem so clear.
But I did my OB rotations so I know my ins-ands-outs.
And you're an act if God's creation so I'm fine with all the doubts.
I'm a doctor and a soldier, I've been shelled and under fire,
But kid, if I say that you don't scare me, I'm a liar.
Now kid, you did surprise me though I know the facts of life.
Wow kid, it terrifies me just to say, "My pregnant wife."
'Cause kid, I gotta tell you I'm not ready not a bit.
There's this macho act I'll sell you, while inside I lose my shit.
It's not that I don't want you, 'cause I do despite my fears.
But kid, is it true you'll stick around for eighteen years
Then the call comes on the iPhone.
I grab a cab cross town.
I find her on the fourth floor.
They've got her in a gown.
She's never looked less lovely.
She's a grump and she's got gas.
And the labor's eighteen hours.
Oh my God kid, move your ass.
Then at last you make your entrance.
And kid you're quite a sight.
I'll be honest you're disgusting,
But I know that you're all right.
Though your screaming and you're spitting
And I can't quite see your charms.
They clean you and they clothe you and they put you in my arms.
And I realize in an instant that I've known you all along.
That I've wanted you forever that I'll never do you wrong.
And whatever this world comes to
Whatever comes our way,
I will watch and protect you.
I promise kid, we'll be okay.
We'll be okay.
We'll be okay, kid.
I feel like yelling, ring the bell and bang the drum.
Say kid, there's just no telling all the things that you'll become.
And I think we'll have some fun here
Your mom and you and me.
But before your time is done here
Kid of mine, I hope you'll see
That this life is what you make it.
It's cliche which means it's true.
And kid, it makes my life to know I helped make you.
As a father, kid, I may not have a clue,
But your mom and me will somehow muddle through.
If my asshole dad can do it, I can too.
In fact, I'll do better. I'll start new.
'Cause kid, my kid, our kid I love you!