Four-and-twenty virgins come down from Inverness
And when the Ball was over there were four-and-twenty less
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
There was doin' in the parlor
There was doin' on the stones,
But ya couldn'ta hear the music for the wheezin' and the groans
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
The undertaker he was there all wrapped up in a shroud
Swingin' from the chandelier and peein' on the crowd
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
The village cripple he was there
Ah he could not do much
So he lined the ladies against the wall and he did 'em with his crutch,
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
Miss Mary McPherson was standin' way up front
Some posies in her hand and a carrot in her...
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
The village postman he was there
But the poor man had the pox
He could not do the lassies so he did the letter box
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all
The Village Magician he was there
He gave us all a laugh
He pulled his foreskin over his head and he vanished up his ass
Singin' balls to your partner
Your ass against the wall
If ya never been had on a Saturday night
Ya never been had at all