Benny was the bouncer at the palais de dance
Hed slash your grannys face up given half a chance
Hed sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid
He thought he was the meanest-
Until he met with savage sid
Now sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots
He poured a pint of guinness over bennys boots
Benny looked at sidney:
Sidney stared right back in his eye
Sidney chose a switchblade
And benny got a cold meat pie
Oh! what a terrible sight,
Much to the peoples delight
One hell of a fight
Sidney grabbed a hatchet, buried it in bennys head
The people gasped as he bled:
The end of a ted?
Well, they dragged him from the wreckage of the palais in bits
They tried to stick together all the bits that would fit
But some of him was missing
And part of him arrived too late,
So now he works for jesus
As the bouncer at st peters gate