Leonardo's Bride - Forty-One False Starts lyrics

i've been feeling like the old man and the sea, 
you asked me if i was over it, 
i'll never be, 

it's all been torn apart, 
forty-one false starts. 
if i could be so brave, 
a little lenny bruce, like i didn't care. 
i'm working on it, 
i am working, 
see these hands are so very tired. 
i feel like such a loser on some dumb crusade. 
i feel so caught between this whole love and hate thing. 
so what if i wear a bullseye on my heart, 
forty-one false starts. 
so much is left unsaid. 
i wanted to clear the air, 
you said it was perfectly clear. 
i'm working on it, 
i am working, 
see these hands are so very tired.