Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber,
Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her
Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust,

But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus

Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more

Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes
Game of darts and a lot of beer
'Can you hold your liquor love?'
'Yes I can, always by the ears.'

Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more

Treat your women like toilets
They're happy when you're abusing them
But toilets don't follow you round
When you've finished using them

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