Spoken:
Lady:
If it's not asking too much,
Sung:
For our information
Just for illustration
Tell us how you intend to run the nation
Rufus T. Firefly:
These are the laws of my administration
No one's allowed to smoke
Or tell a dirty joke
And whistling is forbidden
Chorus:
We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke
Hail, hail Freedonia
Rufus:
If chewing gum is chewed
The chewer is pursued
And in the hooscall hidden
Chorus:
If we choose to chew we'll be pursued
Rufus:
If any form of pleasure is exibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited
I'll put my foot down, so shall it be
This is the land of the free
The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it
If you think this country's bad off now,
Just wait 'til I get through with it
The country's taxes must be fixed
And I know what to do with it
If you think you're paying too much now
Just wait till I get throught with it
*whistle*
I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair
I'm strictly on the upper knot, so everyone beware
If any man's caught taking graft, and I don't get my share
We stand'im up against the wall and pop!Goes the weasel
Chorus:
So everyone beware, you're stricken or unfair
-------unless he gets his share
Rufus:
If any man should come between a husband and his bride
We'll find out which one she prefers by letting her decide
If she prefers the other man, the husband steps outside
We stand him up against the wall and pop!Goes the weasel
Chorus:
The husband steps outside, relinquishes his bride
They stand him up against the wall and take him for white