"So check this, I just read the Pitchfork review of the new Pavement Reissue. Stephen Malkmus is a genius, but let's face it- he's no Connor Oberst. I'm just sayin it's not 1994 anymore, DUH! Did I show you my new miniskirt leggings combo? You know what they say, ugly IS the new hot! "

I met her in the thrift shop,

Bumping indie hip-hop,
Calculator wristwatch,
Shiz t-shirt and flip flops.

Queen of the hipster scene.
Straight out of Vice magazine.
Social outcast at 16,
But now she lives her boho dream.

She came from Omaha to Williamsburg.
She loved Karen O and she had heard
That Brooklyn was the hipster Mecca.
Packed her bags with her friend Rebecca.

Said she had a thing for broke dudes in bands
Who lived by Union or by Grand.
So we went down to the Bedford bar
And bought a six dollar PBR.

"Erza- go down Bedford, take a right on Metropolitan, then a right on Union, then you're here, just text me when you get here, OK? "

Hipster girl
Cool by the numbers
And she rocks my world.
Knows all the indie bands you've never heard.
She's my hipster girl.

She thinks uncool stuff is mad cool.
Indie culture's fad rule.
But uncool stuff is cool, right?
That's why Friday's Jewel night.

She reads books no one has read.
Laughs at jokes no one has said.
So ironic with her taste.
Her whole life is cut and paste.

It's a metro sexual romance.
She wears my shirts and I wear her pants.
We play dodge ball, kids sports are cool.
Watching Spank Rock at McCarren Park Pool.

She's my trust-fund baby bohemian.
Her vegan hummus keeps her thin.
I love my L-Train girl, it's true.
She always goes down on the weekends too.

"By the way, that pro-bush shirt your wearing is making me really uncomfortable. You may be wearing it ironically, but that doesn't give you the license to be obnoxious. You look like a hardcore fascist redneck! "

Hipster girl
Cool by the numbers
And she rocks my world.
Knows all the indie bands you've never heard.
She's my hipster girl.

Donnie Darko makes no sense.
"When did side pony tails get cool again? "
You fixing you bike makes no sense.
"I've been trying to do that dirty chick thing, you know? "
Donnie Darko makes no sense.
"I am so boho right now! "
L-Train girls don't make sense.

I don't' get it! I don't get it!

Hipster girl
Cool by the numbers
And she rocks my world.
Knows all the indie bands you've never heard.
She's my hipster girl.

Hipster girl
She's got her lattee
And some spoken word.
Ironic statements on her vintage shirts.
She's my hipster girl.

"I'll give it to ya Napoleon Dynamite was funny, but Vote for Pedro t-shirts at Wal-Mart? What were they thinking? Wal-Mart is evil! Their health care is totally inadequate. Didn't you see the screening of that Robert Greenwald movie at Pete's candy store? It was so sad. What is with all these hipsters taking over Williamsburg? "

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