I think it must have been when I was fourteen
I had turned on my radio when
A peculiar voice sang with Mancunian twang
About how he was miserable then
I sat through the song as he droned on and on
Like some pale intellectual outlaw
And when he was done I thought "That wasn't much fun
That feller wants to get out more"
And even now my friends are all amazed
When I tell them that I never went through a Smiths phase
I was just the right age at just the right stage
Just one city along to the west
Though I could tell Johnny Marr sure could play that guitar
I was never that deeply impressed
My more sensitive friends thought I was round the bend
And started looking at me down their noses
As they sat in the dark I thought "Sod that for a lark"
Went home and cranked up Guns N' Roses
And people are still startled nowadays
When I tell them that I never went through a Smiths phase
They're the same ones who gaze at me in fear and dread
When I say I can't be arsed with Radiohead