The simple men live the simple life in big log cabins
They're best of friends with a simpleton and a horse called Dobbins
Their yards resound with the simple sound of blackbirds and robins
And their wives make simple samplers with thimbles and bobbins
We envy them, the simple men
The simple men we envy them
We envy the simple men
They're terribly superstitious, fear the ghost and the gollum
They sit in a chair in the mountain air and breathe in the pollen
Their tweeds and plaids are homespun adorned with a sporran
They're always at war with the valley folk because they are foreign
We envy them, the simple men
The simple men we envy them
We envy the simple men
Funny how it seems the more that we evolve
The more the basic problems of our lives get solved
The more we yearn for harder, simpler times back when
We envy them, the simple men
Their pigs have lice and their rats have mice and their dogs have rabies
They dig in the muck to make graves they mark with the names of their babies
They beat their wives, it serves them right it's in Deuteronomy
And for their simple daughters they reserve clitorectomy
We envy them, the simple men
The simple men we envy them
We envy the simple men
Funny how the symbols of humanity
Turn out to be the images of brutality
Projecting soul on the soulless again
We envy them, the simple men