I'd wash the car of an A&R man from Polygram
Or mow his lawn while he was on vacation
Perform complex oral sex acts upon the staff
Of any popular radio station
I... will drop pants
I... will drop pants
I'd write a song about pulling a bong and all the humourous
Consequences such endeavours do bring
It's been done a million and one times before, I know
But lyrical youth-based humour is a 'now' thing
I... will drop pants
I... will drop pants
It should be plain that fleeting fame is all that I desire
Beneath the glow of shallow praise I'm to bask
So I'll wait outside your gate until you will allow
Me to degrade myself, you've only to ask
I... will drop pants
I... will drop pants
Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up,
Put it back down, it's not yours...