Sammy J - Terrorist lyrics

The plane takes off, your seatbelt's on
The man next to you whispers "I've got a bomb"
You freak out
How to respond?

What if he's joking? Don't overreact
Just giggle and smile God what if he's ac-tually
And air marshal testing you
Better look slightly concerned

Think it through now Did he actually say
What you think that he said Is your hearing ok?
'Cos you can't dob him in
If he simply said "My name is Tom"

Well you could take the chance, there's no room to doubt it
If you do and you're wrong, you could both laugh about it
And you and Tom might become really good friends
Or it might just get awkward until the flight ends
'Cos pretty high up on the "making friends error" list
Is the act of calling your friend a terrorist

Back to the present You better think quick
It's getting unpleasant He's starting to tick
Well that's all the proof that you need, come on now take a lead
(Spoken) But what if it's a pacemaker?

You don't want to worsen his heart valve condition
If he's falsely accused, he could die of derision
And anyway you are still patting yourself
On the back for rhyming "error list" with "terrorist"

He's gone to the toilet This is your chance
Tell the hostess, wash the guilt from your hands
But what if he's not a highjacker and he
Is just Tom with a heart problem doing a wee?

He's just killed a passenger Hands in the air
Everyone's screaming There's blood everywhere
Well maybe now you could inform the attendant
You've got enough proof to suggest you could end it

But what if, just what if it's only an act
And the woman he killed is pretending in fact
It's a world first performance of Hamlet again,
It's a modern adaption and it's set on a plane
And you don't want to much the show up

The plane's going down There's not long to go
You grab a small child to cushion the blow
Then Tom walks past to your surprise
You grab a plastic utensil and gouge out his eyes

You feel like a hero
'Til the pilot starts speaking
He says "Sorry about the unexpected turbulence"
"Our performance of Hamlet will resume in 20 minutes"
"And please give a round of applause to your special guest actor Tom Hanks"

You've just eye-gouged Tom Hanks You're being arrested
And the kid that you grabbed is claiming he was molested by you
Life can change
Life can change so fast One minute you're a passenger then you're eye gouging film stars
And as you lie in jail
You get a letter in the mail
It says "Thanks" It's from Tom Hanks
And it explodes