Album: Shel Silverstein
Well, on a Monday I'll be slinging hash.
Tuesday I'll be collecting trash.
And on a Wednesday, I might be tending bars.
Thursdays I'll be the guy who parks you car.
And on a Friday I might be teachin' pool.
Saturday finds me hustlin' pool.
I got a whole lot of talents in demand.
That's why they call me Handy Man.
(Bah - Bah - Bah)
All the neighborhood girls and boys
(Bah - Bah - Bah - Bah)
They come to me to mend their toys.
(Dah - Dah - Dah - Dah)
Their daddy's call me to mow the lawn,
And their mom's all horny when their daddy's not at home!
I can drive a tractor, wheel a truck.
I can deal a hand at poker with exceptional luck.
I can chop down a redwood using just one hand.
That's why they call me Handy Man.
SPOKEN:
Yeah, that's why if you need me in emergencies,
I can come round and just, you know,
Work around the house or backyard or somethin'
Not too taxin' tho'...
Yeah, six in the morning I'm out picking fruit.
Eight Forty-Five I'm back pressing suits.
Twelve o'clock you'll see me shining shoes.
Cocktail hour I'll be servin' booze .
I can wash your windows, walk your pet.
Get you color reception on a black and white set.
I can play a concerto on your baby grand
'Cause I'm a Handy Man .
(Bah - Bah - Bah )
All the neighborhood girls and boys
They come to me to mend their toys.
Their daddy's call me to mow the lawn
And their mom's all horny when their daddy's not at home!
I save my evenin's for brand new faces.
Weekends are reserved for emergency cases.
I tell you, babe, you gotta understand
That I'm a Handy Man.