Album: The Comedy Collection
He was just a lonely tortoise looking for a home
His tiny feet were blistered with the miles he had to
roam
I found him in a pet shop
On his cheek there was a tear
And painted on his little back
Was 20 pence to clear
(CHORUS)
He's a faithful friend the tortoise
He'll love you till the end
And you won't need a person with a tortoise for a
friend
I took him from the petshop, tied to a piece of string
I'm sure that he was happy for I thoght I heard him
sing
I took him to my sports car, we had manys the mile to
go
I tied him to the bumper, he was grateful for the tow
(CHORUS)
In winter he would hibernate
Yes, we'd both retire
And when his feet, his tiny feet, got cold
I'd place him on the fire
In summer by the swimming pool
I was so proud of him
I'd throw him in, and then he'd sink
I don't think he could swim
(CHORUS)
Then came the day that's coming to all creatures great
and small
A drunken driver hit my friend, he smashed himagainst a
wall
When I arrived all I could find were little bits of
shell
I made them into plectrums, I know my plectrums well