I was the wizard of speed and time
I taped every episode of Deep Space 9
Axis and allies in the middle of the storm
A solitary confinement in my dorm
Programming in the computer lab
Made the best mistake I ever had
Systems error, the computer crashed
She came out of nowhere like the Flash
Little Miss Small-Eyes
Little Miss Small-Frame
Little Miss Easily-Mispronounced-Name
We fell hard in love
Or maybe we didn't
A few years later and we're calling it quits
I never thought it would come to this
A few years later and my only wish
Is that we didn't wait to call it splits
Fast forward to our wedding day
Didn't wanna go; didn't wanna stay
Friends and family came to see
The start of our short-lived matrimony
A few years later and we're calling it quits
I never thought it would end like this
A few years later and my only wish
Is that we didn't wait to call it splits
When I was just a little boy, mommy and daddy split up
And I knew that I would never do that when I grew up
When she threw me around, I held in there; I wouldn't give up
Until the day that everything blew up
You've got your damn visa now; the keys to your car
Get in it and drive somewhere far
Away from my life, now get out of it
Two years wasted and we're calling it split
We're calling it split