Album: The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir
When you were in hospital, I couldn't stand the smell of the ward.
It hung in the hallways.
It clung to my clothing.
And as you went downhill fast, all I knew to do was wear my comfort sweater, the one with the green and white stripes.
And after you died, I fell off the pavement, I lay in the gutter, prayed a car would finish me off.
It's been four years now.
I still choke up at tv families.
Sometimes I still feel like jumping in front of a bus.
'Cause there's something inside, between my stomach and my ribcage.
There's something inside, in the black behind my eyelids.
It's fear.
It's the fear of being all alone.
It's fear and it's anger; it's regret and it's longing.
And fear, fear, fear.