When I woke up I was just like you
But in today’s paper on page 22
I’m right there for all to see me in my entirety
No longer will I live in relative obscurity
You know the famous girl I’m with from movies and TV
The blurry guy beside her is obviously me Look a little closer behind and to the right
Now everybody knows that I was out with her that night
And now my time has come
I’ve got the world on the run
My problems have come to an end
I’m an unidentified friend
Unidentified friend
Fame and fortune’s bound to come how will I spend it all
My fans will mob me when I go to the mall
Dark glasses and a hat should be first things that I buy
Or will my fans see through that — maybe I won’t try
I’ll give you my unlisted number pager number too
But when I’m on a movie set my agent will take care of you
I’ll be on all the talk shows, and game shows galore
I’ll even go to parties with Charro and Zsa Zsa Gabor
I just can’t understand it not a single call
I’ve waited by the phone for days and it hasn’t rung at all
Except for my landlord who says I’m overdue
The bills keep stacking up what am I gonna do?
Could it be they didn’t see my picture after all?
Would they run it again I’ll give them a call
And while I’m at it I’ll call my famous friend
Maybe she’d hang out with me then the wait would end