GALINDA
(spoken) Elphie — now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project.
ELPHABA
(spoken) You really don’t have to do that
GALINDA
(spoken) I know. That’s what makes me so nice!
(sung) Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let’s face it — who isn’t
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho’it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face
Don’t worry — I’m determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be:
Popular!
You’re gonna be popular!
I’ll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
I’ll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I’ll help you be popular!
You’ll hang with the right cohorts
You’ll be good at sports
Know the slang you’ve got to know
So let’s start
'Cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go:
Don’t be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I’ve chosen to be come a pal, a Sister and adviser
There’s nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular —
I know about popular
And with an assist from me To be who you’ll bee
Instead of dreary who-you-were: are:
There’s nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-
Ler: lar:
La la la la We’re gonna make
You popular
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of Celebrated heads of state or Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!
They were popular! Please —
It’s all about popular!
It’s not about aptitude
It’s the way you’re viewed
So it’s very shrewd to be Very very popular
Like me!
(spoken) Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you. You’re beautiful.
ELPHABA (spoken) I — I have to go:
GALINDA
(spoken) You’re welcome!
(sung) And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You’re gonna grin and bear it Your new found popularity
La la la la You’ll be popular —
Just not as quite as popular
As me!