Album: The Monitor
''I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one smiling face on Earth.
(Abraham Lincoln, letter to John T. Stuart, January 1841)''
Everything makes me nervous and nothing feels good for no reason
Waking up, it's rarely worth it - the same dark dread every morning
Senior year here in Mahwah, a new world just around the corner
Leave me behind, let me stagnate, in a fortress of solitude
Smoking's been okay so far, but I need something that works faster
So all I want for Christmas is no feelings, no feelings now and never again
There is a faceplate all brown and red that stretches across my mouth
It's worn for protection, nobody gets in and nobody gets out
I used to look myself in the mirror at the end of every day
But I took the one thing that made me beautiful and threw it away
I was a river, I was a tall tree, I was a volcano
But now I'm asleep on top of a mountain, I've been covered in snow
Yes, I have surrendered what made me human and all that I thought was true
So now there's a robot that lives in my brain and he tells me what to do
And I can do nothing without his permission or (which) wasn't part of the plan
So now in Rock Ridge pharmacy I will be waiting for my man
But there is another down in a dungeon who never gave up the fight
And he'll be forever screaming, sometimes I hear him say, on a quiet night, he says
"You will always be a loser, man. You'll always be a loser now, and that's okay."