Rafael:
They say
this cancer spreads
Through
through my mind
Everywhere
Each and every
my lungs are filled with ghosts of every single last fucking memory
spinning, spitting through organs decaying, the demons feed off
we ripped open our torsoes and laid our organs on the canvas. Dripping wet with blood, we let it hang in every museum in the country, so everyone will know what it meant to us, what all of this has meant to us
and if we choose
to forget
every moment
of your death,
i can't disagree that
its for the very best
as thoughts of losing you
bring me to my knees,
and bent, and vomiting.
my friend, he is a ghost
all of my friends, they are ghosts
please make sure to
make him mine again
all my friends say that there's always an end
but i'm too scared to accept their sad prayers
i forgot to
nurture this
now i can't get
this stench off my clothes
of guilt and loss
and to think i never said i love you
and we'll think. and we'll think.
It tears this heart apart
the responsibility of abject absurdity and hopelessness
of life, of humanity, and of existence.
This is to all the kids who live like ghosts
that go on and on w/o meaning and will keep on living
or not, with no answers
"i exist, that is all, and I am nauseated"
Justin:
this cancer spreads through my mind
consuming thought i have
every breath i take is stale death
suddenly i became verbose, rambling
as we drove in an ambulance listening to the sound of the red lights bleeding
and i said there was something in my eye as i left the room
cause i couldn't stand to see you in that bed
paler than the white flowers surrounding your head
and you looked so weak
close the coffin before i jump in and make him mine again
words are just words are words
you're only talking, you're not making sense
oh my god i can't think, i can't move
as i listen to the words in my head screaming out clearly that you are still dead
i'll want to see you again, but i can't
because you are swimming in the dirt
easily persuaded, yet stiff on what you do
you are an empty suit full of old and washed out memories
and a pile of things that are black
god i miss you
i miss you