It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
I was sitting around writing amazing lyrics the other day
When I was struck down, dumb, by your beautiful face
I switched to poetry when it went from prose
I don't know all the words
I don't know how it goes
Did you do it? Or did you just talk about it?
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
On the other side of the street
On the same side of the family
On both sides of the world
It's just nice to hear a voice at the other end of the line
I believe in change and constancy at the same time
Well if you're fat, then who's thin?
It's bad when you can't say it's all good
There's the door, propped open with a stick
You use the door
I'd use the stick
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
What?!
It was the telephone that just rang
Like a bad joke, but I didn't get it
Refresh my memory, I need a refill
Don't rain on my ticker-tape parade
Eventually this moment will fade
All of you will fade!
Loneliness on the left, regret on the right
I just go straight through the red light
Twenty-something and counting; you're at the foot of the mountain
You don't know how to count, or how to make it over the hill
If you don't want to count it then somebody else will
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
Well bad novels; do you read them? Do you need them?
Bless my soul!
We need more guitar in the monitor
And more bass, and more vocal
You know if you die by the dime you'll cry by the nickel
Is this the beginning, or is this the end?
You said you'd take me for a ride
I said, "yes" (because I needed one)
I didn't know it was gonna be a drag
Let me just put it this way
Wait a minute! (x3)
Never trust a person who says "trust me."
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
Check, one, two! (x3)
Day in and day out
The only thing that I'm not sick of is your body
You sound like a broken CD
At first they said CDs wouldn't skip but
You sound like a broken CD! (x2) broke
De-de (x7)
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin'
Well, this just in, this just in, but I digress
I'd like to start talking about myself and get dressed
The hobo got up to shield his eyes
I set you free you live that party life
You and your trophy husband
And me and my wife
I haven't been this jealous since 1945
The days grow short and the nightclubs are long
Words cannot express this
I'm getting restless
Look at me now, I'm on a gunship of metal
The oceans is an emotional ghetto
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x2)
There was no telling how much money was spent on the chandelier
Guests poured in from the rafters like rain into goblets by the dozen
We were frozen, like fear, like we always were
And I was hung up in the close line, stranded
Our main refused and the nurse resigned
So my wounds went undressed
And my heart was in the lobby
By the broken down elevator, and the fern
And the eighth wheezed; he had just got asthma
Which I feared I was catching
She, in all her loveliness came down, directly
And I was as bashful as ever
This time it was not an act; I adored her
And when the sun finally did set, though, it bored her
You know what she said?! (x2)
It was the vodka talking and the gin listenin' (x4)