Wingnut Dishwashers Union - Never Trust A Man Who Plays Guitar lyrics

So I dip this pen in arsenic
I write a song for every president
that won't ever get shot in the face

And I wrap these strings in plastic explosives
I walk down to the court house
with one strum I level the place

But hasn't anybody learned
don't ever trust a man who plays guitar
The day I rob a banks the first day I'm not lying
to you or me about what I believe

So when I die then let my gravestone read
rest in peace, funk no pulses no
is no excuse not to dance
If I live then let my heart be
like a beating picket line
they'll sooner see a corpse than see a scab

Hasn't anybody learned
the last who make the moves
are the first to say the words
the day I rob a banks the first day I live my life
as an honest man, an honest man
The day I go to jail trying to rob a bank
Is the day I finally get what I deserve


(Thanks to Tchock for correcting these lyrics)