Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?
Crazy old Maurice
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
LEFOU
A dangerous pastime
GASTON
I know
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan
GASTON
If I (whisper)
LEFOU
Yes?
GASTON
Then we (whisper)
LEFOU
No! Would she
GASTON
(whisper) Guess!
LEFOU
Now I get it!
BOTH
Let's go! No one plots like Gaston
GASTON
Takes cheap shots like Gaston
LEFOU
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston
GASTON
Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful
LEFOU
As down to the depths you descend
GASTON
I won't even be mildly remorseful
BOTH
Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end
GASTON
Who has brains like Gaston?
LEFOU
Entertains like Gaston?
BOTH
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy Gaston!