Teacher calls me ding-a-ling
Policeman calls me ding-a-ling
Street-cleaner calls me ding-a-ling

Butcher, baker, and undertaker
All call me ding-a-ling

Tweaking moocow rumps
With all their lovely lumps
Is something that I do
Infinitely better than you

Ding-a-ling
A-ring-a-ding-dong-dandy
Sometimes amnesia
Would sure come in handy

Ding-a-ling morning
Ding-a-ling night
Just stay stupid
That's all right

Bluebirds the size of sugarcubes
Circle round my head
True I have to pay them
Before I go to bed

Why'd you bring the ding-a-ling?
All she wants to do is sing
Her ding-a-ling songs
All night long
All night long

Would you like a subscription to my diary?
Then when I merge with the infinite
You can impersonate me

Would you like a subscription to my diary?
Then when I kick the bucket
You can impersonate me

Ding-a-ling morning
Ding-a-ling night
Just stay stupid
That's all right

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