[mc chris]
Well on the first day of Christmas my dealer gave to me
A bag of 'shrooms and some LSD
We snuck into the park to steal some Christmas trees
But the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave
We're all fucked up on Smirnoff eggnogg
We crunch on candy canes and rev up all the chainsaws
You give us 30 and we'll tie it up at no extra cost
We'll take that 30 and spend it on pot
We're not too bright we flunk all of our classes
Ah-het in fights gettin drunk cause we're bad kids
Our dads call us bastards mom's always plastered
We're the closest thing to suburban gangsters
Cold air's what we breathe our vests have no sleeves
It's hard to haul trees in sub-zero degrees...
We smell like evergreens
[Chorus]
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
And some mistletoe all up in this piece
Maybe a girl, ah-that's free of disease
And while I'm thinkin, throw in a couple of G's yeah
I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed
I want a hoe who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit
I'm just a hayseed sellin trees to break trees
Know your daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay
[mc chris]
Even though my nose is runny get the honies cause I'm money
But I never get laid can't find my way into long undies
I don't trip, just dip, listen to country
With my piss I write my name because I think it's funny
I'm so into this deciduous lifestyle
You see dead tree and I see a cash cow
I never bargain and I never back down
Put the back seat down and I take your ass to tree town
Yer daughter's givin me the eye
So I am givin her a ride
I'll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights
As long as I get, all up in her tights
[Chorus]