I have a theory; they're conspiring to end our love
It's all too obvious; it fits like a hand in a glove
Your girlfriends say I'm insane
Too much paranoia in my brain
But my theories are true, and your friends will be proven lame
We made love on the grassy knoll, then stared at the moon
Were no man has set foot, so far, but maybe soon
I'll find out who shot JFK
Then you'll love me the very next day
But your heart is as cold as the skin of an alien grey
The mailman's jealous, no love letters in my box
And your manager too, that man changed all of your locks
I called to say that I love you
But my provider wouldn't put me through
They're all against me with their laughter and their mocks
I laid a chemtrail to my heart, but you took no head
Too many fools wanna be your man and plant their seed
Guys who think Bigfoot's not real
Or, with aliens, we don't have a deal
So you left me for one, and my heart fell at free-fall speed
So my theory came true, and I find that our love is no more
'Cause you said goodbye and walked right out that door
To a world that'll end real soon
You won't survive without my underground room
When all systems fail, and they start the third world war
And the world will be rocked an rolled right down to its core
And the Mayan calendar will be more than just folklore
(Spoken) But I might let you back in my room during world war four
Ya ha ha ha ha