Said Slytherin, We'll teach just those
Whose ancestry is purest.
Said Ravenclaw, We'll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest.
Said Gryffindor, We'll teach all those
With brave deeds to their names.
Said Hufflepuff, I'll teach the lot,
And treat them all the same.
Hufflepuff sucks
You can't deny
It's the worst of luck
To hear the Sorting Hat cry:
Hufflepuff
The loser house
Where no one wants to be
Hufflepuff
The first years grouse,
Sorting Hat, no!
Not Hufflepuff, please!
Hufflepuffs
What do you do?
We're hard-working, and um, loyal too?
You can't win at sports
You wear yellow shorts
All the other Houses feel sorry for you
Hufflepuff
The loser house
Where no one wants to be
Hufflepuff
The first years grouse,
Sorting Hat, no! Not Hufflepuff, please!
Hufflepuffs
You always fail
At being good at Quidditch, you'll never prevail
You're neither strong nor fast
You always come in last
It's ok if you want to just give up and wail:
Hufflepuff
The loser house
Where no one wants to be
Hufflepuff
The first years grouse,
Sorting Hat, no! Not Hufflepuff, please!
Hufflepuffs
Your house is a bore
When you try to speak, everyone just ignores
It's time to give up
And admit that you suck
Before you embarrass yourselves any more
Hufflepuff
The loser house
Where no one wants to be
Hufflepuff
The first years grouse,
Sorting Hat, no! Not Hufflepuff, please!
Hufflepuff
The loser house
Where no one wants to be
Hufflepuff
The first years grouse,
Sorting Hat, please, no, not me.
Sorting Hat, no! Not Hufflepuff, please!