Defense Against the Dark Arts is the most important class to which you'll ever go
That is why I'm here. I'm here to teach you everything that I know.


I've been Traveling with Trolls
And the Year with the Yeti left me cold
I gotta say not all werewolves are bad
But that's 'cause one of them gave me a bottle of Ogden's Old

I've got perfect teeth and I've got perfect hair
And when I move I seem to walk on air
Where there's evil that's where I'll go
And I'm Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile five times in a row

I put the ban in banshee
And I beat vampires in magical combat
I've got the number on household pests
But I don't talk about that

I've got perfect teeth and I've got perfect hair
And when I move I seem to walk on air
Where there's evil that's where I'll go
And I'm Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile five times in a row

Of course I'll sign your textbook
Signed photos are free
Take this special potion for your hair
Or have an autographed copy of Magical Me

I've got perfect teeth and I've got perfect hair
And when I move I seem to walk on air
Where there's evil that's where I'll go
And I'm Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile five times in a row

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