Pull up my pants Now the camera crew has gone
In your statement to the police
Tell them how you turned me on
But you were such an ugly child
You were such an awkward child
You were such a stupid child
We should've cottoned on
Alan is a cowboy killer
Take up tai chi
Now your favourite pet has died
We had crazy fucking times
'Till her visa card expired
But you were such an ugly child
You were such an awkward child
You were such a stupid child
We should've cottoned on
Alan is a cowboy killer
Wipe up his mess
Pay your fluffers by the yard
How you're paying for your peace
How you're paying for your peace
But you were such an ugly child
You were such an awkward child
You were such a stupid child
We should've cottoned on
That Alan is a cowboy killer
Alan is a cowboy killer