Little Johnny Johnson wants an M-16
Sister Susie wants an Uzi and a submachine
Kids are making wishes and wartime strategies
Singing, "Happy, happy birthday to the Prince of Peace"
Buy war toys for Christmas, have a happy holiday
Santa traded in his red cap for a green beret
Teach those happy little children to be hellcats when they play
And have a very merry, military day
Janie wants the latest deadly laser gun
Little Tommy asked his mommy for his own B-1
Kids are dropping napalm on their Christmas trees
Singing, "Happy, happy birthday to the Prince of Peace"
Buy war toys for Christmas have a happy holiday
Santa knows the missile toes the line in every way
Teach those happy little children to be hellcats when they play
And have a very merry, military day
We've all got our fingers crossed for another Cold War frost
Singing, "Oh by golly, let's be jolly, deck the holly-caust"
Darlin' Danny Simpson armed his own brigade
Staged a coup and overthrew the Christmas day parade
Kids are roasting chestnuts on burning effigies
Singing, "Happy, happy birthday to the Prince of Peace"
Buy war toys for Christmas have a happy holiday
Santa's slain his reindeer, now he flies the Enola Gay
Teach those happy little children to be hellcats when they play
And have a very merry, military day
And have a very scary, military day
Singing, "Happy, happy birthday to the Prince of Peace"