I took a correspondence class in wire tapping and assassination
Learned the lingo and the proper etiquette for covert operation
I got my degree in top secrecy
'Cause gonna be a spy
For the C-I-D-I-A-T-F-B-I
I'll tell you if you keep it quiet, CIA and FBI, etcetera
They reformed their former ways and got themselves a brand new raison d'etre
And all the intelligence personnel
Will work as one well-oiled machine
The C-I-D-I-A-T-F-B-I is on the scene
There'll be employment opportunities
With prosecutional immunities
And I'll apply, 'cause I know they're gonna need
Someone with my distinctive blend of grit, incompetence and greed
I'll uncover Jerry Rubin, but I'll never lead 'em to bin Laden
I'll be on the Promenade an' he'll be in a spa in Baden Baden
I know when I've messed up and they investigate
It's a test I'll pass.
The C-I-D-I-A-T-F-B-I covers its ass
The C-I-D-I-A-T-F-B-I - that's for me I know