(Mr Garrison)
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday,
and so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say
Hey there, mister Muslim!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Put down that book the Koran,
and here's some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
And fuckin' celebrate
There is no holiday season,
In India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd
They never read a Christmas story
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why every December,
I'll go to India and shout
Hey there, mister Hinduist!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef,
And pass it to the missus
*Hindu music*
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fuckin' celebrate
Now I've heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin
On December 25th,
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan,
And walk around and say
HEY THERE, mister Shintoist!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
God is gonna kick your ass,
You infidelic pagan scum!
*Japanese music*
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So let's all rejoice for Jesus,
Merry Fuckin' Christmas, ta you
On Christmas Day
I travel around the world and say
Daoists, Christians, Buddists,
and all you Atheists, too!
Merry Fuckin' Christma-aaaaas,
To yooo-oouuu!
*small clapping sound*
Thank you, Mr Hat