When you look on this stage under all these bright lights
You just see some guys that you don't really like at all
Grow some balls when you choose tonight...
If you vote for me
You'll be doing the country
A really really big favor
Trust me you can thank me later
When I legalize everything
I can guarantee
You'll be
Much much more happy
With me
I can satisfy all your needs
For shady activities as you please
Like prostitutes and drugs
Bearskin rugs
Automatic weapons
Exposing your erections
It's high time
You vote for Einstein
I'll legalize everything
Euthanizing old people
Pushing bald eagles
I'll fire the regulators
Offer some toilet paper
It's high time
For Einstein
I'll legalize everything
If you vote for him
You'll be helping the nation
Live like the founding fathers did
And never have to bother
With laws against anything
He can guarantee
You'll be
Much more happy and free
Constitutionally
If you want to see tyranny's demise
Realize we should legalize
Proper care of nations
Without taxation
Buying the election
Exposing our erections
It's high time
You vote for Einstein
I'll legalize everything
Extreme religious sects
Interspecies sex
If you're wondering how I spelled those
Then you'll just have to guess
It's high time
For Einstein
He'll legalize everything
Every single inconceivable
Smokable drinkable thing!
Now who wants to see my erection?