The Canada Song
Written by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie
Between the ice caps of the north pole,
and the states of America,
there is a country in the middle that is known as Canada
Where the natives are all happy,
and the lakes are fresh and clean,
there is no unemployment,
and no one is mean
In the summer there's no mosquitos,
and the winters are never cold
There is no clear-cut logging,
and no ozone hole
Oh Canada, your leaders are so swell
In Canada, no one ever goes to Hell
No criminals or taxes, and Visa never phones
Elvis is alive in Moosejaw, but we leave him alone (thankyouverymuch)
'cause we're in Canada, whose army is so strong
In Canada, no one has to mow their lawn!
No waiting for the busses, no standing in a line
The banks are all nonprofit, and the dollar moves at
ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine (That's American, ya know)
So shout Canada (Canada!)
The courts are always fair
So shout Canada (Canada!)
Whose mechanics never ever swear
(Oh, I put my finger on the darned manifold, ooh, that's hot!)
The rednecks and the hippies live in perfect harmony,
growing wheat and marijuana together, hydroponically
Nobody has pimples, and the skies are all so clear,
and when Jesus Christ comes back to Earth,
I know he'll be born here
The phone line's never busy, and you're never put on hold,
Canada's a country carved entirely from gold
Oh in Canada, everyone says please
In Canada, no one ever cuts the cheese
Oh Canada, Oh Canadaaaa
The country of love is the country for me
Canada
starts with a "C"