A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... TV tray I bought on eBay
My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay
Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock) Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee) They had it on eBay
I'll buy ... your knick-knack Just check ... my feedback "A++!" they all say They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy ... your tchotchkes Sell me ... your watch, please I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...) I'm highest bidder now
Junk keeps arriving in the mail) (From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray) (Hey! A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray) Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox) Wanna buy (a case off vintage tube socks) Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre) (Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcett poster) (Pez dispensers and a toaster) (Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away) (I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y