Once upon a time
on the internet, there was a guy.
A very deeply flawed man,
they called him Eric Bauman.
He was a total asshole,
and nobody knows why.
He traveled all around
on the pulse of each phenomenon,
from Something Awful, on to Fark,
with his trusty watermark,
he stole and stuck it all upon
eBaumsWorld.com
It wasn't fair
to those from whom he stole,
but did he care?
No, not one bit.
And then he had the nads
to sell some ads.
What a piece of shit!
Oh, Eric.
Eric's quite a slut.
Other people's work
has made him rich.
He hired some male prostitutes,
dressed them up in three-piece suits.
His faithful team of lawyers
made the internet his bitch...
...Till Lowtax came along,
punched him in the face
and banged his mom.
And Mr. Bauman, quite disgraced,
had his dumb website erased.
Well sadly that's a lie,
there's still an
eBaumsWorld.com
But if we all join hands
and sing this song,
then our call will reach the sky.
And maybe Zeus and Thor
will smite that whore.
I think it's worth a try.
eBaum's World is going down.
We gotta rise up from the underground
to tell Eric Bauman a thing or two
about how stealing simply isn't cool.
So right now we're making that our mission,
and if the bastard doesn't listen,
we'll get sick of being lawful
and brand his ass with Something Awful!