As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed, they never would be missed!
There's interior designers, window dressers and that sort
Bank robbers who retire to Spain the minute they get caught
Or those who have their noses pierced or men who die their hair
Or idiots who host chat shows and disc jockeys everywhere
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
They'd none of them be missed, They'd none of them be missed!
CHORUS: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, They'll none of them be missed.
There's the people with pretentious names like Justin, Trish and Rofle
And the gynecologist, I've got him on the list!
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf
They never would be missed, They never would be missed!
All waitresses who make you wait, accountants of all kinds
And actresses who kiss and tell and wiggle their behinds
And poncey little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed, I'm sure they'd not be missed!
CHORUS: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, They'll none of them be missed.
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist, I've got him on the list!
Comedians and weightlifters and opera singers too
They'd none of 'em be missed, They'd none of 'em be missed.
All traffic wardens, bankers, men who sell Venetian blinds
All people who wear silly ties, Australians of all kinds
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip and with huge and floppy... writs
But anyway I think by now you must have got the gist
They'd none of them be missed, They'd none of them be missed!
CHORUS: You may put them on the list, You may put them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!