Из альбома: 6 Minutes Alone

*WARNING* This is not a song. It is Basedow's life story. It is included on the album "6 Minutes Alone".

"I remember when I was small little boy, my parent's, they loved me so. I always got what I wanted from them. They told me one day "John, you're going to be somebody when you grow up." and I knew they were right.

I remember in Pre-school and Kindergarten, getting beat up by all the cute little girls and boys. Man, I miss those days, especially getting beat up by the boys....MMMM MMMM....*ahem* um...Anyway, I had this one teacher, her name was Ms. Dyke. She was so wonderful. She had the habit of kicking me in the face every so often though. I don't know why. Then 1st grade came along, then 2nd, 3rd, then in 4th grade, something amazing happened. I was walking down the hallway one day and this kid, his name was Kurt, said to me "I have an olympic gold medal!". I asked him "Where the fuck you get that?" and he answered me not with words, but with action. He drop kicked me, knocking me over. That day was so great and I remember it as if it were only yesterday. I wonder whatever happened to that dear sweet boy. 5th grade is kind of a blur, probably because I drank too much or something. My middle school days kinda sucked because I didn't get beat up by guys, only girls. High School was neat. I was in the chess club, the debate club (I lost every debate because I don't know anything.) and I was on the swim and wrestling team. Anything to get close to those young men. For some reason I got picked on in the locker rooms during swim practice. It seems that the guys thought my pink bikini with the cute bow in front were funny. I just laughed along with them.

When I got out of High School, I went to college. The place sucked, too many girls. Then after H.S. I started lifting weights, then some guy noticed me, finally, and asked me to shoot some commercials, which I do to this very day.

And that my friends, is my story. Thank you!

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